Limburger Golem

Large Construct

Hit Dice: 11d10+30 (90 hp)
Initiative: –1
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 21 (–1 size, –1 Dex, +13 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 21
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+19
Attack: Slam +14 melee (2d8+7)
Full Attack: 2 slams +14 melee (2d8+7)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Aura of overwhelming stench, fetid slam, putrid cloud
Special Qualities: Construct traits, damage reduction 10/slashing, darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, immunity to cold, scent, softened by heat, vermin magnet
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 9, Con —, Int —, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: —
Feats: —
Environment: Temperate farms, abandoned dairies, sewers, marshes, or any land
Organization: Solitary or creamery (2–3)
Challenge Rating: 9
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 12–20 HD (Large); 21–30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

Special Attacks

Aura of Overwhelming Stench (Ex)

A limburger golem constantly radiates a nauseating odor in a 30-foot radius.

Creatures entering or beginning their turn within the aura must succeed on a DC 21 Fortitude save or become sickened for as long as they remain within the aura and for 1d4 rounds thereafter.

If a creature fails this save by 5 or more, it is instead nauseated for 1 round.

A creature that succeeds is immune to that particular golem's aura for 24 hours.

The save DC is Strength-based.

Fetid Slam (Ex)

Any creature damaged by a slam attack must succeed on a DC 21 Fortitude save or become sickened for 1d6 rounds.

A creature already sickened that fails this save becomes nauseated for 1 round instead.

Putrid Cloud (Ex)

Every 1d4 rounds, the limburger golem may release an explosive cloud of concentrated odor in a 20-foot-radius spread centered on itself.

Creatures within the cloud must make a DC 21 Fortitude save.

Failure results in:

• Nauseated for 1d4 rounds
• Blinded by streaming tears for 1 round

Success results in:

• Sickened for 1 round

The cloud lingers for 3 rounds, providing concealment beyond 5 feet due to watery eyes and swirling vapors.

Special Qualities

Construct Traits

A limburger golem possesses all construct traits.

Damage Reduction (Ex)

Damage reduction 10/slashing.

Vermin Magnet (Ex)

The overwhelming odor naturally attracts scavengers.

Whenever combat lasts longer than 5 rounds, there is a 25% chance each round that 1d4 swarms of rats, dire rats, or other Small vermin (DM's choice) arrive from nearby tunnels or cracks.

These creatures are not controlled by the golem.

Instead, they instinctively attack the nearest living creatures while completely ignoring the limburger golem.

Immunity to Cold (Ex)

Cold simply firms the cheese.

Scent (Ex)

The limburger golem possesses the scent special quality.

Its scent range is doubled.

Softened by Heat (Ex)

Whenever the limburger golem suffers at least 10 points of fire damage from a single source, portions of its body liquefy.

For 3 rounds:

• Natural armor decreases by 2.
• Slam attacks deal +1d6 acid damage, representing burning, semi-liquid cheese.
• The radius of Aura of Overwhelming Stench increases to 40 feet.

Additional fire damage refreshes the duration.

Description

A limburger golem is a massive construct assembled from enormous wheels of heavily aged Limburger cheese reinforced by powerful transmutation magic. Its body is thick and muscular, with rough, uneven surfaces coated in cracked amber rinds that glisten beneath an oily sheen. Faint wisps of vapor seem to perpetually rise from the seams between its massive wedges, carrying with them an odor that many describe as a cross between spoiled milk, damp cellars, fermenting onions, and forgotten gymnasiums.

Unlike the clean appearance of a mozzarella golem or the polished craftsmanship of a cheddar guardian, a limburger golem gives the unsettling impression of slow decay despite remaining perfectly preserved. Tiny droplets continually form along its surface before sliding to the ground, where they leave dark, pungent stains that can linger for weeks.

The construct advances with deliberate confidence, seemingly unaware of the havoc its mere presence inflicts upon nearby creatures. Many battles end before its fists are ever brought to bear, as opponents stagger away retching long before they can mount an effective defense.

Ironically, cheesemakers often regard the aroma with pride rather than disgust. Master artisans recognize it as the unmistakable hallmark of properly matured Limburger, though even they generally prefer to admire the construct from a respectful distance.

Lore

Among cheesemancers, the limburger golem is considered the greatest triumph of psychological warfare ever created. Early prototypes were intended merely to guard cheese vaults, but their creators quickly discovered that intruders often abandoned their theft without a single blow being struck. Word spread rapidly that some treasures were simply not worth smelling.

Legends claim that one famous creamery ended a month-long siege after releasing two limburger golems from its cellar. Contemporary accounts differ wildly on the details, but every version agrees that the besieging army departed in remarkable haste and declined to return, despite suffering almost no physical casualties.

Scholars have long debated whether the odor is entirely mundane or partially supernatural. Alchemical analysis confirms the presence of ordinary aromatic compounds associated with aged Limburger, yet divination magic consistently reveals lingering transmutation and conjuration effects interwoven with the scent. Most conclude that the enchantment amplifies an already formidable natural aroma into something approaching a weapon.

Experienced adventurers often joke that there are only two kinds of people: those who laugh upon first hearing of a limburger golem, and those who have actually fought one. The first group invariably outnumbers the second.