Swiss Golem

Large Construct

Hit Dice: 9d10+30 (79 hp)
Initiative: –1
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 19 (–1 size, –1 Dex, +11 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+16
Attack: Slam +11 melee (2d8+6)
Full Attack: 2 slams +11 melee (2d8+6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Wedge snare, ricochet throw
Special Qualities: Construct traits, damage reduction 5/slashing, darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, hole-riddled body, immunity to cold, scent, softened by heat
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities: Str 23, Dex 9, Con —, Int —, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: —
Feats: —
Environment: Temperate farms, dairies, kitchens, or any land
Organization: Solitary, pair, or creamery (2–4)
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 10–18 HD (Large); 19–27 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

Special Attacks

Wedge Snare (Ex)

Whenever a swiss golem hits a Medium or smaller creature with a slam attack, it may immediately attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking attacks of opportunity. It does not move into the target's square.

If the grapple check succeeds, the victim becomes partially wedged inside one or more of the golem's large cavities. The trapped creature is considered grappled, but the swiss golem is not. The golem retains its Dexterity bonus to AC, threatens all adjacent squares, moves normally, and may continue making slam attacks against other opponents.

A trapped creature may escape by winning an opposed grapple check or by succeeding on a DC 21 Escape Artist check as a standard action. Upon escaping, it appears in any unoccupied square adjacent to the swiss golem.

A swiss golem may hold only one Medium creature, two Small creatures, or four Tiny (or smaller) creatures at one time.

Ricochet Throw (Ex)

As a standard action, a swiss golem may tear loose and hurl a fist-sized wheel of magically hardened swiss cheese as a ranged attack with a range increment of 30 feet. The attack deals 2d6+6 points of bludgeoning damage.

If the attack misses its original target by 5 or less, the projectile ricochets unpredictably from walls, floors, ceilings, or other hard surfaces. Immediately make another attack roll against a different creature within 15 feet of the original target. The ricochet cannot target the original creature.

The detached cheese wheel magically regrows after 1 minute.

Special Qualities

Construct Traits

A swiss golem possesses all construct traits.

Damage Reduction (Ex)

Its magically compressed body grants damage reduction 5/slashing.

Hole-Riddled Body (Ex)

The swiss golem's body is filled with magically reinforced cavities that make it unusually difficult to strike cleanly.

• All ranged weapon attacks (including arrows, bolts, sling bullets, thrown weapons, and firearm projectiles, if used) have a 20% miss chance against the swiss golem as they may pass harmlessly through its numerous holes.
• Creatures attempting to grapple the swiss golem take a –2 circumstance penalty on grapple checks, as limbs and weapons continually slip into its cavities.
• The swiss golem gains a +4 racial bonus on checks made to resist bull rush, overrun, and trip attempts, as opponents struggle to gain solid leverage against its irregular frame.

Immunity to Cold (Ex)

Cold damage merely hardens the cheese, causing no additional effect.

Scent (Ex)

The rich, nutty aroma of aged swiss grants the golem the scent special quality.

Softened by Heat (Ex)

Whenever the swiss golem takes 10 or more points of fire damage from a single source, portions of its body soften.

For the next 3 rounds:

• Its natural armor bonus is reduced by 2 (minimum +4).
• Its speed is reduced by 10 feet.
• Its slam attacks deal an additional 1d6 points of fire damage as molten cheese splashes onto its victims.

Additional fire damage resets the duration but does not stack.

Description

A swiss golem is an imposing humanoid construct assembled from enormous wheels of aged swiss cheese strengthened by powerful transmutation magic. Its body is composed of thick wedges and rounded sections riddled with perfectly circular cavities ranging from fist-sized openings to tunnels large enough to swallow an arm. Every surface is protected beneath a smooth coating of golden wax that glistens with tiny beads of fragrant oil.

At first glance, the numerous holes appear to be structural weaknesses. In reality, they are painstakingly engineered components of the construct's design. Missiles frequently whistle harmlessly through empty spaces where a solid body would have been struck, while opponents attempting to seize the golem find their hands disappearing into unexpected openings instead of gaining a proper grip.

Despite its unusual construction, the swiss golem moves with slow confidence and tremendous strength. Each heavy footfall leaves faint oily impressions upon stone floors, accompanied by the unmistakable aroma of an alpine creamery. It advances without hesitation, silently judging intruders through an expression permanently carved into its broad, wedge-shaped face.

The most unnerving aspect of a swiss golem is the way it captures prey. Rather than crushing enemies outright, it calmly wedges struggling victims into its oversized cavities before continuing the fight as though carrying groceries.

Lore

Swiss golems were created by eccentric cheesemancers seeking to improve upon earlier cheddar golem designs. While observing naturally aged swiss cheese, one artificer proposed an outrageous theory: if arrows could pass harmlessly through the holes in a cheese wheel, perhaps they could do the same through an animated construct. Years of experimentation eventually proved the hypothesis surprisingly effective.

Every cavity within a swiss golem is positioned according to complex arcane geometry rather than random aging. The tunnels reinforce one another through magical force, producing a construct that is simultaneously lighter, stronger, and more elusive than its solid-bodied cousins. Many scholars have attempted to duplicate the design using stone or metal, only to discover that enchanted cheese possesses properties no other material can match.

Master cheesemakers value swiss golems as both guardians and conversation pieces. A wealthy noble displaying one in a cellar demonstrates not only considerable magical resources but also a refined appreciation for artisanal craftsmanship. Guests often begin by laughing, only to fall silent once they witness arrows disappearing cleanly through the construct's torso.

Veteran adventurers speak with particular caution regarding the swiss golem's habit of collecting enemies. Tales abound of companions disappearing into the creature's cavernous body while it continued methodically pounding the rest of the party. Survivors often remark that hearing muffled cries emerging from inside a walking wheel of cheese is somehow more disturbing than facing an iron golem itself.